A Long Overdue Update... 26.2 Miles

"The person who starts the marathon is not the same person who finishes the marathon." 

 26.2 Miles.

Those miles changed my life.

The training, my training partners, my supporters… it all changed me.

It’s no secret that when I registered for the Marine Corps Marathon I was in the midst of the biggest struggle of my life. Running (and everything it gave me) kept me going. There were many days the only reason I got out of bed was to meet my training partners for our morning run - it was accountability for me. If I didn’t show up, there would be texts, questions, concerns.

In the weeks before the race I began to mentally struggle with whether or not I could do it. Could I really run 26.2 miles? Finally I remembered all I had been through. I remembered running through tears & heart breaking pain and all the people that never let me quit. These people had picked me up when I was down and carried me on. The amazing people in my life had brought me this far and I couldn’t let them down.

I also realized that this year, the pain, the challenges, the heartbreak... it changed me for the better. It broke me into pieces, only to rebuild me into something better. Out of the most painful experience in my life I was given a new world full of so many blessings, I cannot begin to express them all. Crossing the finish line of those 26.2 miles was more than just a finish line for the marathon. It was a finish line for the past, I left things on the course I needed to forget and I then crossed the start line of a new world for me. 

In the most perfect timing ever, "Good in Goodbye" came on just as I crossed the finish line. 

"As bad as it was, yeah, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you got to let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
There’s good in goodbye"

Pre-Race

Kuhlmann & I Post Race in the Beer Garden

Patty, Stacey & I Post Race

26.2 Miles Later!

P.S. - I had the most AMAZING marathon experience - better than I could have ever imagined! I am so blessed and thankful for a GREAT race day.

Life Goes On..

 Sometimes it’s hard to slow down and take time to write. So I’m going to do my best to recap life a little bit.

• I PR’ed (barely) at Virginia Beach Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon – 1:55:45. The heat and humidity were awful but some highlights of the race were:
• My parents & nephews cheering with signs at Mile 6
• The freezer pops that people decided to hand out around mile 11 on the course (amazing)
• The girl holding the sign at mile 12 that said “Run like you’re racing your EX’s new lover” – I laughed at this and it carried me through the last mile of the race.
• I found a place to live! I moved into my own place the first of September. The condo is great and for the first time in my life I have a garage (it’s amazing!).  I feel very much at home already and it’s nearly the same size as my old house was, so that has helped make the transition even better. My other favorite perks are: the huge master closet and the two back patios (one off the main floor, one off the second floor).
• Marathon training has continued and we have completed a 17-mile, a 19-mile and a 20-mile run. My favorite is still the 19-mile run…bloody shoe and all.
• I had my first visitors! Maddi and her boyfriend Gunner came to visit! We had time to enjoy the new patio furniture I bought, went rafting down the Shenandoah River, went to a local winery event and more. I loved having my first visitors and we had a blast enjoying “the mountains” as Maddi likes to say. I love being the hostess, so please come visit!
• I’m officially divorced. It was a bittersweet moment but the best response to this news so far has been when a friend said: “you can now dance to single ladies again.” Even if it is my adjusted version, “If you like then you should’ve KEPT a ring on it.”

Life has truly gone on. And I have been incredibly blessed with an amazing life full of the most fantastic people in the world. I am now beyond constant pain and grief and instead I can just be extremely grateful for the person this experience has made me into. I could never have imagined handling it all like I did and I’m so thankful I somehow managed to (by the grace of God). I am far from perfect, so I have things I wish I could’ve changed in my marriage but it is a blessing to look back on the last 8 months without being consumed with feelings of “what if”, embarrassment or regret. Instead I remember heartbreak, amazing friendships, struggles, perseverance and unconditional, endless love. Those things taught me amazing lifelong lessons. Here’s to the next book in life... 

xoxo

Marathon Training

So I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I signed up for my first full marathon (eeek) in the midst of the hardest battle I’ve ever had to face in my twenty-six years of life.

Dumb? I say no. I say it was the greatest thing to do because two things have kept me going through the last 6 months: amazing family&friends and running.

On Monday I received a weekly “RUNspiration” email, the quote said –

“Running is a gift. It allows you to realize that you are stronger than you ever imagined you could be.”

I immediately forwarded it to one of my running buddies and said to her – “how true, and I don’t mean physically.”

Running is a gift that allows you to realize you are stronger than you ever imagined you could be MENTALLY. You are tougher than you could ever believe.

God lined up my life perfectly for the battle I had to face. He made sure I had courage, strength, faith (in myself & him) and amazing people before I went through this battle. Facing this battle just a couple years ago, when I had lost my confidence, faith and self-worth, would have been completely different than facing it now. 

Does that mean it’s been easy? Hell. No. I had really, really dark days but I cannot imagine facing them without the inner strength and courage I've gained

Training isn’t easy; I just said this week that marathon training is wearing on me. I’m tired, I’m worn down… but I won’t give up. This battle to 26.2 is about more than just running and miles. It’s about inner strength, it’s about determination and it’s about never giving up on myself. Here’s to praying that on October 27^th I can stand at the finish line and officially put two long battles behind me: one that I chose and one that I was forced to face.

Letting Go of the Familiar

It’s taken me months to sit down and write this blog. I didn't know how to write another blog post about running or my life adventures until I could first acknowledge the new path my life has taken. I’m still not sure I can, but this is me trying...

My husband left me. 

That’s not the whole story, that doesn't even begin to explain what has happened or the roller coaster I've been on, but it does state the obvious fact that my life has taken a new direction. It took me nearly two months to really accept the choices he has made (although I don’t agree with them) and start moving forward with my own life.

Last week I signed up for my first full marathon – in the midst of my life crisis, I must be crazy right? Well this marathon sign-up has been long planned and I couldn't let go of my dreams. I fought for an hour to get into the Marine Corps Marathon – along with my running buddy Patty. It was a big deal to get that confirmation screen (finally! That registration was a mess.) and realize I had just signed up for my first full marathon, despite my heart being broken and my life being in shambles.

I could not have survived the last 71 days without my family and friends. There are absolutely no words for how incredibly blessed I am. I have had more people surrounding me & supporting me than anyone could ever ask for. I am truly blessed beyond what I deserve. I am thankful to have such amazing supporters in my life every day.

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”  -Raymond Lindquist

That is exactly what I am trying to do now. Letting go of the familiar (and comfortable) and starting a new journey in life. And I’ll be right here, blogging about my so called grown up life (the good and the bad). 

xoxo

-a.

Hopes for 2013

Everywhere I look, bloggers are talking about their plans and goals for 2013. So I’m jumping on the bandwagon with what I’m going to call “Hopes for 2013”.

Hopes for 2013:

• Continue to Capture My Life via my iPhone {even though my project 365 is over!}
• Run 26.2 miles {whether it’s a race or just me & the road}
• Give yoga a try {& try to like it}
• Tone Up via Weights or Lose 10lbs
• Sell Our House {or at least try!}

I'll elaborate on these hopes for 2013 in separate posts!

xoxo
-a

I've Been Hiding a Secret...

In 2013 I'm going to attempt 26.2 miles.

I can't believe I am making this goal official! I hope to run Marine Corps Marathon, but either way I want to run 26.2 miles in 2013!

Crossing my fingers to stay healthy and find a way to double my longest run!
xoxo
-a