Life Goes On..

 Sometimes it’s hard to slow down and take time to write. So I’m going to do my best to recap life a little bit.

• I PR’ed (barely) at Virginia Beach Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon – 1:55:45. The heat and humidity were awful but some highlights of the race were:
• My parents & nephews cheering with signs at Mile 6
• The freezer pops that people decided to hand out around mile 11 on the course (amazing)
• The girl holding the sign at mile 12 that said “Run like you’re racing your EX’s new lover” – I laughed at this and it carried me through the last mile of the race.
• I found a place to live! I moved into my own place the first of September. The condo is great and for the first time in my life I have a garage (it’s amazing!).  I feel very much at home already and it’s nearly the same size as my old house was, so that has helped make the transition even better. My other favorite perks are: the huge master closet and the two back patios (one off the main floor, one off the second floor).
• Marathon training has continued and we have completed a 17-mile, a 19-mile and a 20-mile run. My favorite is still the 19-mile run…bloody shoe and all.
• I had my first visitors! Maddi and her boyfriend Gunner came to visit! We had time to enjoy the new patio furniture I bought, went rafting down the Shenandoah River, went to a local winery event and more. I loved having my first visitors and we had a blast enjoying “the mountains” as Maddi likes to say. I love being the hostess, so please come visit!
• I’m officially divorced. It was a bittersweet moment but the best response to this news so far has been when a friend said: “you can now dance to single ladies again.” Even if it is my adjusted version, “If you like then you should’ve KEPT a ring on it.”

Life has truly gone on. And I have been incredibly blessed with an amazing life full of the most fantastic people in the world. I am now beyond constant pain and grief and instead I can just be extremely grateful for the person this experience has made me into. I could never have imagined handling it all like I did and I’m so thankful I somehow managed to (by the grace of God). I am far from perfect, so I have things I wish I could’ve changed in my marriage but it is a blessing to look back on the last 8 months without being consumed with feelings of “what if”, embarrassment or regret. Instead I remember heartbreak, amazing friendships, struggles, perseverance and unconditional, endless love. Those things taught me amazing lifelong lessons. Here’s to the next book in life... 

xoxo

Leaving My {Old} Life Behind

In 23 days I'm going to be leaving my home...

The house I bought with Andy just three years ago. I talked about us putting an offer on it here, the home inspection here, getting approved here, preparing for the closing here and the day we bought it here. It was a huge moment in our lives.

In 23 days I'm going to be leaving my "kids"...

The hardest consequence of Andy's decision to leave was what to do with our dogs. I still can't stop crying about this. We got Parker the first year we were dating and when Parker needed a companion, we got Allie. Their faces are all over my blog and my Facebook, I have hundreds of photos of them and our adventures. They're the most amazing dogs in the world. The hard part was when I realized that if I were to take them they’d have to live in an apartment with no yard, spending their time in a crate whenever I was at work or out… that was just too much. I couldn’t punish them for choices made beyond their (and my own) control. In the end I decided to give them to Andy so the pups could have the yard, the house and the space they’ve grown accustomed to. It breaks my heart... I’m still not sure how I’m going to do it.

But somehow, I will find a way. 

I’ll find a way to leave behind the house we made our home, the dogs I called my kids and the husband that I love so deeply…

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
― Deborah Reber