Life Goes On..

 Sometimes it’s hard to slow down and take time to write. So I’m going to do my best to recap life a little bit.

• I PR’ed (barely) at Virginia Beach Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon – 1:55:45. The heat and humidity were awful but some highlights of the race were:
• My parents & nephews cheering with signs at Mile 6
• The freezer pops that people decided to hand out around mile 11 on the course (amazing)
• The girl holding the sign at mile 12 that said “Run like you’re racing your EX’s new lover” – I laughed at this and it carried me through the last mile of the race.
• I found a place to live! I moved into my own place the first of September. The condo is great and for the first time in my life I have a garage (it’s amazing!).  I feel very much at home already and it’s nearly the same size as my old house was, so that has helped make the transition even better. My other favorite perks are: the huge master closet and the two back patios (one off the main floor, one off the second floor).
• Marathon training has continued and we have completed a 17-mile, a 19-mile and a 20-mile run. My favorite is still the 19-mile run…bloody shoe and all.
• I had my first visitors! Maddi and her boyfriend Gunner came to visit! We had time to enjoy the new patio furniture I bought, went rafting down the Shenandoah River, went to a local winery event and more. I loved having my first visitors and we had a blast enjoying “the mountains” as Maddi likes to say. I love being the hostess, so please come visit!
• I’m officially divorced. It was a bittersweet moment but the best response to this news so far has been when a friend said: “you can now dance to single ladies again.” Even if it is my adjusted version, “If you like then you should’ve KEPT a ring on it.”

Life has truly gone on. And I have been incredibly blessed with an amazing life full of the most fantastic people in the world. I am now beyond constant pain and grief and instead I can just be extremely grateful for the person this experience has made me into. I could never have imagined handling it all like I did and I’m so thankful I somehow managed to (by the grace of God). I am far from perfect, so I have things I wish I could’ve changed in my marriage but it is a blessing to look back on the last 8 months without being consumed with feelings of “what if”, embarrassment or regret. Instead I remember heartbreak, amazing friendships, struggles, perseverance and unconditional, endless love. Those things taught me amazing lifelong lessons. Here’s to the next book in life... 

xoxo

Bittersweet Happiness in DC

On March 16th I ran DC Rock 'n' Roll... even though I didn't want to... not one bit.

I didn't want to drive to DC. I didn't want to take the metro (for the first time ever). I didn't want to run Rock 'n' Roll. I didn't want to deal with the crappy weather (it was supposed to rain).

But I sucked it up and I did it. And guess what? I don't regret that decision one bit.

I took a half day on Friday and I met up with Maddi and her little from college (GO DUKES!) to hit the expo. It was also my dry-run (first time ever) riding the metro... I'm such a country bumpkin!

Maddi also gave me the coolest shirt ever (she's amazing)...

Yep. I absolutely love it.

Then, I headed to stay with my BFF from college (GO DUKES!) after not seeing her for FIVE YEARS. I needed days to catch up with her, but only had the night. She was amazing and treated me like royalty (best host ever!)... she even gave me HER BED!

Just the start of the amazing spread of food

Pre-Race Hydration - CHAMPAGNE! 

The next morning she even got up at 4:15am to see me off (MOST AMAZING HOST EVER!). 

Pre-Race

I met Maddi and her little pre-race and hung out (freezing) until the start. Then we were off to our different corrals and I was on my own. 

I ended up running with the pacers for the marathon (the half pacer was not running a steady pace) - my goal was to run a sub 2 hour half. I spent the first 10 miles running along with them, feeling pretty good (except for one killer hill). At 10 miles I decided to kick it in and run the next 3 miles a little harder. Mile 13 was my best mile at 7:45/average! 

I spent the entire week before and all 13.1 miles saying - if I get a sub two hour I'll be on cloud nine. I will be so happy, I will have achieved a huge goal. 

When I crossed the finish line at 1:56:28 I didn't feel any of those things. I had achieved my goal, I had come to a race I didn't feel like running and I had conquered it... but I didn't feel on cloud nine. I collected my medal, waited in line for my bag and then headed for the metro. Then I started crying. 

Yep, walking to the metro, runners and people all around, I started crying. 

It's not that I wasn't proud or happy with my time, I really was... I just couldn't fully enjoy the moment because of everything I was struggling with. It was another realization point in my "new" life. 

Post-Race Pre-Crying

I struggled with being okay with the feelings I had after the race and I eventually realized it's OK. It's okay that happy times can't be completely happy yet. I remember after Ang died it was that way, happy times weren't completely happy because something was missing/we were broken. I've felt a lot of the same pains and struggles of grief as I did when Ang died but at the end of the day I can sleep better knowing that although I lost someone I love, that person does still get to walk this earth and live life. For that, I can be thankful. I can be thankful that this loss I suffered was a personal loss not a loss for the entire world. 

Time to Shelve 2012

The last year of my life has flown by. 

I could never have expected how much fun 2012 could be...

I ran my first 5K, first 10K, First Mini-Mudder, First 10 miler & First Half Marathon...then I ran a few more!

I've successfully maintained an 85lb weight loss for a full year... even tho I still eat way too many sweets (I'm a work in progress!). 


2012 also brought a few new friendships that I couldn't imagine living without! 

A few of our amazing friends had awesome babies (that I’ve enjoyed cuddling & spoiling). 

I am so thankful and blessed!

Here's to 2013...

Schedule {so far} for 2013:

• February 17th Rock 'n' Roll Pasadena 
• March 16th Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon Washington D.C. 
• April 28th Nike Women's Half Marathon Washington D.C.
• September 1st Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon VA Beach

Races...Races...Races...

This week I went a little race crazy! It started because of the 12.12.12 Rock 'n Roll Sale ($20 off races) and ended with a lottery acceptance!

I signed up for RnR's races in:

• Pasadena, California (February)
• D.C. (March)
• Virginia Beach (September)

In February I'm headed to California for work so I decided to make it a vacation and run while I was on the west coast! This will be the first time I've been to California or to the Pacific Ocean!

In March I'll be visiting my BFF from college in DC for the first time! Can't wait to see her place :)

And in September I'll be hoping for better weather than last year for VA Beach RnR!

After registering for 3 races I found that evening my team had been ACCEPTED into the Inaugural Nike Women's Half Marathon on the East Coast in DC!!!!!!!!! 

So far races are planned for Feb, March, April & Sept. There's also some discussion of a longer distance in the fall... we shall see! 

I do it for the bling.... 

My New Medal & Bib Holder

13.1 Round Two... Oh How I Love Thee

Saturday I ran the Baltimore Half Marathon (my second Half Marathon). It (thankfully) was not nearly as challenging as my first Half Marathon (Virginia Beach RnR).

I was not prepared for how cold it was Saturday morning. I brought a throw away shirt but that's it. Thankfully I was given a pair of old throwaway gloves. Next time I will have a shirt, gloves AND pants that I can wear until right before the race starts.

Pre-Race - I had to ditch the headband in my bag before the race

I went with Kuhlmann (middle), who I run with at home, he ran the full marathon (and killed it). We stayed with his college friend (left) who also ran the half marathon (and did awesome).

Pre-Race

13.1 Miles – 

Miles 0-2 were frustrating because I was constantly dodging people.. but that just comes with the big races I guess (25,000 people running). I dodged people through the rest of the course but the first couple miles were not good. I was in corral 3 based on my estimated 2:15 finish time and for the first quarter mile I was going around a 11/min pace because I couldn't break out of the crowd.

Miles 3-6 were good, I kept reminding myself I do 6 miles almost every day so this was just another run so far. I turned on my music – which I had issues with the entire race. First it was stuck on repeat, and then it wouldn’t skip songs. I didn’t let it get me worked up tho, there was a great crowd of fans and tons of runners. I enjoyed listening to the runners around me talk. Well except for the guy who took the business phone call and yelled at the person about how he was running a half marathon and they shouldn’t be calling him…

Miles 7-9 I ate my gatorade shot blocks around mile 8 and just settled into enjoying the run. I felt relaxed at this point and focused on just getting to mile 10. At this point I realized a) I was drinking a lot less water than I did at VA Beach Half AND b) I was not dumping a cup of water on me at every water station. These things were good signs to me.

Miles 10-11 I kept thinking I was going to hit a wall. Looking back, I know I was just scared because of VA Beach (where I hit the wall hard at Mile 11). I started picking up the pace more and realized I could crush my goal IF I didn’t get injured, get a cramp, etc. I  saw a girl wipe out and eat pavement… that made me even more cautious of watching my feet and where I was stepping.

Miles 12-13.1 I kicked it in high gear and ran faster than I ever do on Mile 12 (around 8min/mile pace) and then I all out sprinted the last .10. I was running past so many people going full speed and I STILL felt good… how this is possible, I have no idea? I had more miles in me when I crossed the finish line at 2:03:10.

Afterthoughts: This race was just one of those days where everything aligns perfectly and I know those days are rare. It pains me to think the next half could be much, much different. I could not have asked for a better race day experience! I can imagine running 10 more races and this one still being my favorite.

Race Loves:

• Fans - there were fans throughout the entire course. In VA Beach we had 6 miles or so with no one around (other than fellow runners). I really enjoyed the fans AND the signs the fan had. From “Call Me Maybe” with a phone number, to “Your Butt Looks Great!” the signs rocked. I actually wished I was carrying a camera to snap pictures of my favorites (knowing I would forget a lot of them!).

• Course – I was a little afraid of a semi-hilly course (even though I train with hills) but I loved it. Probably because there were so many long, smooth downhills!

Things They Can Improve

• Water Stops – they should have either a) had them on both sides of the course in most places OR b) had more tables (so you can pass by the congested first tables and get to the next ones).

• Finish Line – VA Beach nailed this and Baltimore failed. The finish line area was so congested and messy at VA Beach. I ended up having to ask a little kid to give me a medal… it was a big mass crowd all trying to get their medal, a drink and some food. I almost missed the food completely and never got to the beer. VA Beach had a straight line where you just kept walking and people handed you first your medal, then a water, then it just kept going (snacks, wet towels, etc). I missed a lot of stuff in the finishers area because it was such a horrible mess of people. 

Race Details: 

Saturday October 13, 2012

Baltimore Half Marathon

Baltimore, MD

Time: 2:03:10

Round 2 with 13.1

In 6 days I’m going for Round 2 with 13.1 miles in Baltimore. And I’m just as scareddd (maybe more) as the first time for many reasons.

1)      Because this is my second half marathon everyone expects me to do better (including myself)

2)      Last time I missed my goal by just over 1 minute… that was depressing. I’m keeping the same goal (2:15) and really want to beat it.

3)      I am running this one solo… and there aren’t pacers. This one scares me the most. No friend to run with AND no pacer to keep me slower in the beginning so I don’t kill myself with speed in the beginning. I do not enjoy checking my garmin every 2 minutes but I guess that’s what I’ll be doing to keep myself on track. It just makes for a much less enjoyable run. Also all of my long runs have pretty much been with running buddies, so I’m used to the company and someone else pushing me.

4)      Time + Weather… The half starts at 9:45am… ugh. I’m used to running at 6 or 7am. Who knows what the weather is going to be like. And my friend is running the marathon which starts at 8am so I’ll have a lot of time to kill… and get even more nervous!

Running is very much a mental game for me so I’m trying to not let myself get too worked up. I’m trying to make a plan and repeat it so I don’t get worked up.

Plan:

·         Try to keep a 10 minute pace through Mile 8 and only then pick up the pace if I’m somehow feeling really good (aka don’t start out running 9 minute miles and be dead by mile 4).

·         Use 10 minute miles as my number to calculate goal on… because it’s easy and I get runners brain and can’t do math.

·         Write mile splits for 8, 10, 12 on my arm in sharpie. I know, it’s easy to calculate but I get really dumb when running.

·         Take the Gatorade chews I’ve been practicing with and eat them around mile 7-8. Possibly take Candy Corn in case I need a sugar jolt.

·         Make friends in my starting corral! Be outgoing throughout the race and make friends to keep me going!

Any other tips? 

Sept 2nd after my first Half Marathon 

Achieving the Impossible {for me}

In high school I was an athlete. I played basketball and volleyball, training for one or the other in the off season. I was not a runner. I think the longest distance I ever ran in high school was one mile. On Sunday, I ran thirteenPOINTone miles (actually because it’s nearly impossible to run the tangents that they measure the race on, I ran 13.29 miles… but who’s counting?).

I used to dread the mile. I never ran in college. After quitting sports senior year due to multiple leg surgeries, I continued some not so healthy eating habits and 7 years later I had gained 90lbs. Not a fun fact, but the truth. Yet, somehow, I finished my first half marathon. I’m still amazed and thankful.

It was by no means easy. It was physically and mentally taxing. And I’ve never felt so accomplished in my life. It was hot & humid and I missed my goal (2:15) and ended up finishing at 2:16:09. After being disappointed in myself for missing my goal my friends helped me focus on all that I DID do. I ran 13.1 miles. I kept going through the crazy humidity and heat. I ran further then I had ever run before. I accomplished something I’d never expected I could do. 

VIP Porta Potty's bc I bought new Brooks running shoes!

#SweatPink shoelaces

Maddi & I before the start

Ready to get started!

After the finish on the boardwalk!

Maddi & I -- finished!!

The photos look awful. I felt awful and that last mile made me wonder why I ever thought I liked running. It only took about a half an hour for me to change my tune and ask when the next race was! {BTW it's October 13th Baltimore Half Marathon!}

If I can do it, I know anyone can do it. 

Race Details: 

Sunday September 2nd

Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon
VA Beach, Virginia

Time: 2:16:09

The last weekend of July, Babe & I finally had our first official "guest" to come spend the weekend at our house. It only took 2.5 years (that is what happens when you never leave "home" & all of your friends parents still live here). After the long awaited arrival of our first weekend guest, all I can say is we <3 having guests come visit.

My friend from JMU, Maddi, came to visit and we had a blast. We hiked, we played at the river, we went wine tasting, had brunch and EVEN milked a cow by hand... we know how to plan a weekend. Heck, we even ran 2X while she was here (I'm running the half marathon with her in September!).

We loved it and can't wait for our next guests (or for Maddi to hurry up and come back again!!).

Thanks to Maddi for the awesome photos! 

At the top of Humpback Rocks Hike

Milking a cow by hand!

Drinking Raw Milk - yum!!!

Roasting Marshmallows

Wine @ Barren Ridge Vineyards

13.1

Wednesday was National Running Day. In honor of National Running Day I lost my mind signed up for a half marathon. That’s 13.1 miles. 21 kilometers. 23,056 yards. 69,168 feet. 

I’ve ran exactly one official race, a local 5K (3.1 miles). My longest run to date is 9 miles (which I’ve ran one time). And I signed up to run 13.1 miles.

Yes, I might be #overlyambitious but as I mentioned on facebook #toolatenow. The $80 entry fee is non-refundable so I’m going to tackle that 13.1 miles in September. That means lots of training runs between now and then (in an already packed summer). Last night babe asked “will your cell phone {i.e. my source of music & pace/distance tracking} even last that long?”… I laughed (my iphone has a notoriously horrible battery life).

Here’s to running… and hoping my iphone makes it!

Half Marathon?

If you ever told me in the past (whether it be high school, college or heck even middle school) that I’d run a 5K - I’d laugh. A 10K? I would ask if you were crazy. A ½ marathon? I’d send you straight to the loony bin for even asking. So how is it that a 5K seems like nothing, a 10K seems manageable and now I’m considering a ½ marathon?! Do I need to be sent straight to the loony bin?? 

Maybe this should be me?!

Alix, my motivator of all things running, asked me to do a ½ marathon with her in August. At first I kind of freaked because it seemed so close, but after talking to some of the runners at work they said you need 12 weeks to train for it. And looking at the training schedule they recommended I could probably skip to week 5 or 6 and go from there. So I have more than enough time. Heck, probably too much time. I have enough time to freak myself out and not do it. I mean 6 miles is my longest run… that seems like a long way from 13! 

You see I’m not a runner… or am I? 

I always say “oh I’m not a runner”… or “I’m new to running”… but how long can I keep saying that? How long can I claim not to be a runner but put in 20 miles a week? How long can I say I’m not a runner, but push myself to run further, longer without water, faster….? Maybe I am a runner. It’s not natural born, that’s for sure. It definitely is for necessity… but 20 miles week? That’s more than necessary. Considering a ½ marathon? That’s more than just necessary for weight management. 

This running thing started as a way to keep the weight loss going (speed walking at high inclines only goes so far)… and somehow it seems to have become so much more. I’m grouchy if I don’t get to run as plan. I try to recruit my friends to come run with me. I challenge myself. 

Maybe I am a runner...?