Marathon Training

So I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I signed up for my first full marathon (eeek) in the midst of the hardest battle I’ve ever had to face in my twenty-six years of life.

Dumb? I say no. I say it was the greatest thing to do because two things have kept me going through the last 6 months: amazing family&friends and running.

On Monday I received a weekly “RUNspiration” email, the quote said –

“Running is a gift. It allows you to realize that you are stronger than you ever imagined you could be.”

I immediately forwarded it to one of my running buddies and said to her – “how true, and I don’t mean physically.”

Running is a gift that allows you to realize you are stronger than you ever imagined you could be MENTALLY. You are tougher than you could ever believe.

God lined up my life perfectly for the battle I had to face. He made sure I had courage, strength, faith (in myself & him) and amazing people before I went through this battle. Facing this battle just a couple years ago, when I had lost my confidence, faith and self-worth, would have been completely different than facing it now. 

Does that mean it’s been easy? Hell. No. I had really, really dark days but I cannot imagine facing them without the inner strength and courage I've gained

Training isn’t easy; I just said this week that marathon training is wearing on me. I’m tired, I’m worn down… but I won’t give up. This battle to 26.2 is about more than just running and miles. It’s about inner strength, it’s about determination and it’s about never giving up on myself. Here’s to praying that on October 27^th I can stand at the finish line and officially put two long battles behind me: one that I chose and one that I was forced to face.

Here's to...New Adventures. To Mistakes. To Living.

In the beginning of May I started to feel happiness creeping back into my life on a more regular basis and by the middle of May I was waking up happier and stronger every day. The feeling of gaining back emotional strength and happiness after months of despair is truly indescribable.

Then the death of the most wonderful, kind-hearted, wise man I know, threw life into a tailspin - that man was my “grandfather-in-law”. His death affected many others and with the death came a number of opportunities, decisions, mistakes, answers and ultimately finality that I could never have imagined. I had a heart wrenching 7 days that the details of which could fill an entire book. On day number 7 I sat packing my bags for a trip and I couldn’t even fully comprehend everything that had happened in the prior week… much less the last 4 months. 

At that point I realized a few things the last 7 days had shown me: I’m stronger than I have ever been, I know what I deserve in life and I must give up trying to “understand” what has happened in the last 4 months. There will never be a way to understand it but I can move on knowing I found strength through this time that I never knew I could have. I’ve shown grace in trying times and done my absolute best to keep it as much as possible.

On day number 8 I grabbed my bags and joined 4 of my girlfriends for a long weekend in the Outer Banks. I cannot imagine more perfect timing for that trip. Being surrounded by truly awesome friends, eating amazing food and drinking spectacular drinks… it was just what I needed to get refreshed, refocused and ready. Ready for the adventures life has in store. Ready to see where life’s going to take me. You see, I didn’t chose this new life and I never would have, but I can find the opportunities, adventure and excitement that exist in the world I’ve been handed.

So here’s to new adventures, to mistakes and living life to the fullest… because in the end it’s the only way to really live life!

xoxo

-A

PS - As always thanks to the {absolutely} amazing people in my life that keep me going when I don’t know if I can. I know without a doubt I’ll still have days like that, but I also know I’m facing them with a new outlook, a new focus. 

Beach Getaway with the Girls! 

OBX Night Out!

The Tsunami (aka the Volcano)

Cocktail Hour at Sunset in the OBX

A Post from the Past

I found this blog I drafted back in February and never posted. It’s raw & honest and very true to the pain I’ve felt over the last 4 months…

From February:

“True Strength is holding it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart.”  – Unknown 

Running has been my solace over the last 4 weeks. Yoga – where you’re forced to stop and be still – has been my arch nemesis. I’ve struggled day in and day out but I’ve still laced up my running shoes and pounded the pavement. I’ve cried through runs, struggled to breathe and fought to finish but I have kept going. Those hard runs have been just like my life these last 4 weeks…. Painful. A struggle. A fight to make it through. There have been many times I just want to quit, wave the white flag and retreat to a hiding place. I’m still trying to battle my way through life everyday… hoping that the battle one day ends and I’m back to a place I can call “normal”.. a new normal, but a normal none-the-less. 

A big thank you to everyone who has lent their shield or their sword to help me make it through the battle that is my life right now. I will never forget the strength I have been given from others to get up and keep going every day.