Memories

This October I skipped blogging about the thing that makes a week in October hard as hell. 

Last year I wrote pretty candidly about the death of (at the time) my 16 year old sister-in-law to be. Andy's only sibling, an amazing, beautiful girl and a testament to God's love. Our Angel of Faith, on earth & now in Heaven. 

This year, I went to start a post and honestly, I just couldn't finish it. I had made myself remember and relive those awful details of the hospital over the days before the 2 year anniversary of her death and I just couldn't get into words what I was feeling. 

Ang & I before her homecoming dance

I did save this (see below) in a draft, even though it wasn't finished. I decided to leave it as is, raw and imperfect and not try to finish those thoughts and drag up those memories. I instead tried to relive her laughter, her smiles and her crazy antics. Those are the memories I should be writing about....

I watched you take your last breath. Watched your family fall apart.

I held your brother's hand wishing somehow I could touch his heart.

It didn't feel real. A nightmare that I would surely wake up from.

It didn't feel real. Days blurred together... picking photos, poems, songs, a casket.

It doesn't feel real.

The Class Clown

After reading all of the posts on Facebook about Daniel & Amanda's Blog I was overwhelmed with sadness. I know he is somewhere much better. no doubt in my mind that he is filled with happiness. but sometimes that doesn't help.

My heart aches for his family and best friends. The ones who were blessed to see that smiling face on a regular basis. The ones who, without a doubt, had many, many, many days brightened by his presence.

I first met Daniel in kindergarten, we were in the same class. I remember he played house with us. He was always the husband of course {I think he was the only guy who would hang out with us girls and play house in kindergarten... smart boy getting all the attention from the girls}.

For the following 12 years of school I shared many classes and many friends with Daniel. Daniel had a way of making everyone his friend. It was impossible to not like him. He was the class clown. I cannot tell you how many times he made me laugh... His outgoing, crazy personality kept us entertained.

I never knew Daniel suffered from depression. The Daniel I knew was the happiest, most upbeat, and amazing guy you could ever imagine. He really just had the whole package and I guess he couldn't see it: he was good looking, funny, athletic, talented, adventurous, caring, energetic... the list goes on and on.

That is the way I'll always remember Daniel. The class clown. That amazing smile. And one of the most caring people I'll ever know. 

Taken from Daniel's Facebook Photos