Cemetery

Yesterday, they put up Ang's headstone. One of the few things I wasn't there for in the last 5 months was picking out Ang's headstone for the Cemetery. I didn't say it then but I didn't want to do it. At that moment I could not take watching or being part of one more decision... one more question... it was just too much.

So, Andy and Cathy went together to pick out and design the perfect stone for Ang. I'm so glad they did it together, without me. I had general ideas of what it was going to look like...but somehow I missed the sketch the company did for approval... so I really didn't have a picture in mind, just the components that would make it up.

It is beautiful... just like her. And it broke my heart.

I have trouble going to the cemetery. I never talked about it before but yesterday it smacked me in the face once again. The cemetery is not where I go to talk to Ang b/c when I'm there I can't breathe, I can't think, I just cry... or focus on trying not to cry if other people are around. For some reason the cemetery is to big of a dose of reality for me. It's just too much...