By The Grace of God...

"Thought I wasn’t enough

Found I wasn’t so tough
Layin’ on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it anymore

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning, there is no more mourning
Oh, I can finally see myself again

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah, the truth’ll set you free"

I've been listening to this song on repeat the last few days. I discovered it at the exact moment I needed it... this week brings the One Year Anniversary of the day my entire life changed. 

The truth about that time? I thought my world was ending... I watched the life we had built crumble around me... I spent my fair share of nights laying on the bathroom floor, sobbing... I can't count the number of times I called my mom or one of my amazing friends, unable to speak, just crying... I snuggled my pups and prayed hard, for God's will... I hated myself some days... I hated others some days... I wanted it all to just be over... I just knew I couldn't survive it.

But I held on... somehow. And I ran through it... It saved my life. 

And a lot of amazing people gave me the encouragement I needed.

I didn't try to put the pieces back together, one day I just took one piece and decided to start a new puzzle. It's still a work in progress... there's still some days I cry in pain, but the difference is, I know I will be okay... it will be okay.

I picked myself back up, because I knew I had to stay... 

I forgave. I realized my blessings. I learned my lessons. I became a better person. 

Always, decide to stay. Don't let love or anything else take you out. <3

xoxo